My five cents worth

How far can five cents get you these days?

I stopped a car on the street yesterday, got in and asked the driver if he could get me to my destination. Along the way, the GPRS in the car sounded and then it hit me (a thought, not the GPRS) that I was in a taxi! Damn...I had been trying to avoid those rob-you-blind surcharges. Notice how they make their vehicle so white and brilliantly shiny you don't even realise you are in a taxi? Stupid limousine cabs.

So anyway, the driver (Yes, I know they wear uniforms. I just thought he was role-playing or something.) stopped at my destination and the nice lady in the meter / GPRS asked me for $10.25. The driver decided to add an extra tax though, and told me to pay $10.30 instead.

I fished around in my pocket and since I had exactly $10.25, I decided to pay the driver that just for the fun of it. Well, I have a piece of advice...don't mess with cab drivers. You might end up paying for it with your life. The numbskull of a driver took one ugly look at the fare, and then drove on for a metre or two before slamming the brakes. As if he had forgotten I was still in the taxi. I opened the door and was in the midst of getting out of the taxi when the hell-driver started driving off again.

The point is...he should have just asked if he wanted the extra five-cent tip.
"Excuse me ma'am, your fare is $10.25 but do you mind giving me an extra five cents? I need to combine that with the last five cents I have in my pocket so that I can use the public restroom." That would have worked better, wouldn't it? Heck, I'll even give him more change so the poor guy can relieve himself. Or maybe I was wrong about him. Maybe he was really rushing off so he could stock up on rice or oil.

Whatever. I blame the inflation and god damn taxes.

Just a note

To the lady seated beside me on the bus yesterday:



Oh, come on. You know who you are. We had such a nice time last night, didn't we? You, your sister, her friend..and your two children. All squeezing on that FOUR-SEATER with me. Yes, see now you get it.

Hi.

Seriously, I'm honoured. The ride was uncomfortable though, so I guess that makes me uncomfortably honoured. You lot had a choice of dozens of empty seats around the bus, instead you decided to cram in with me.

Maybe I looked bored...or maybe I looked too comfortable. Was that it? That you in your infinite wisdom decided it was in my best interest to make my journey a more eventful one? Heck, I just wanted to get home!

Anyway, I wanted to express my apologies for a couple of things that happened on that bus ride.

Firstly, I am sorry that I nudged your child's head back towards you. You see, your little boy (who was sitting on your lap) suddenly decided to lay his head on my lap and show me everything in his nose. You didn't seem to notice that (probably too preoccupied with everything in your own nose) and I simply thought you might like his head back together with the rest of his body. Can't have your little boy running around without his head, can you? Hehe...

Also, I am very sorry that I was sniggering throughout that journey. Yes, I was...and you thought I has a bad sinus problem didn't you? Scared you for a second. Well, back to the point. I really did not mean to be rude. It's just that with all of you piled up so tightly, I just could not decide if you looked more like a bunch of grapes or bananas. Except when the bus driver swerved or braked, then you looked like bowling pins. Oh man....if only you guys could see yourselves then. Did you know that all of you would glare at the driver at exactly the same time whenever the bus braked? Hehehe...imagine that.

Whatever the case, Singapore needs more citizens like you. What if we could all ride in private cars the way you did on the bus last night? That would be what, 8 to 10 people per car? Imagine how many cars we can take off the road!

That being said....You are an idiot. For all the reasons mentioned above.

Good night